


When Darcy Met Maria

by Zephyrfox



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Don't copy to another site, F/F, Nothing serious, Tumblr Fic, Written in 10 minutes, just for fun, slightly cracky
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-16
Updated: 2019-05-16
Packaged: 2020-03-06 02:58:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 572
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18842239
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zephyrfox/pseuds/Zephyrfox
Summary: Maria needs a plant sitter. Darcy needs a place to live. It's a match made in Stark Tower!





	When Darcy Met Maria

**Author's Note:**

> This story is just for fun, and is based off a prompt about inviting a billionaire to your wedding in order to get wedding gifts. If someone invited him, Tony Stark would definitely show up to the party being gifts.
> 
> You can find the original post [here](https://leavesdancing.tumblr.com/post/184905681309/1989nihil-awful-brew-xxfangirlanonymousxx) .

  
Darcy totally just wanted to find a roommate. She was living in New York City, helping (wrangling!) Jane, and a nice apartment she could afford was, well, not exactly within reach.

Maria, on the other hand, needed someone to look after her plants. She was deployed on the helicarrier for weeks on end, and plants, while generally needing only minimal care, can’t actually look after themselves.

They bumped into each other at Stark Tower, while Darcy was wrangling Jane, and Maria was attempting to wrangle the Avengers - always a thankless task, and why couldn’t Coulson do it? Oh, right, he was off somewhere with Clint.

When the two women met, they looked each other up and down, and, by mutual agreement, ducked into one of the kitchens, and bonded over hot chocolate - laced with Kahlua.

“I just want to find a place to live that I can afford, y’know?” Darcy said, peering into the depths of her hot chocolate. “I mean, I could live with Jane, but with Thor coming all the time, it gets a bit… loud.”

Maria muffled a snicker, ending with a dollop of whipped cream covering her upper lip. “I’ve got a place, but I need help with my plants. I like my plants, but when I’m out on the helicarrier, they all die.”

The two women drank their hot chocolate, sunk in despair over their difficulties.

Then Darcy straightened, a strange light in her eyes. “What if…”

Maria looked at her. “What if what?”

Darcy grinned. “I know Jane’s the genius, but so’m I. This makes me a genius! It’s perfect!”

“What? Are you going to tell me? I’ve learned a trick or two from Natasha, you know.”

For a moment, Darcy was distracted - and intrigued. But through sheer force of will she kept her wrangling-Jane trained mind on task. “We get married. I can move in with you, and then I can take care of your plants. When I’m not taking care of Jane, that is.”

Maria shook her head. “That is an insane idea. No one will believe me getting married.”

Darcy shrugged. “No probs. We get fake married. Then we can just live together, and reap all the benefits. Like wedding gifts.”

“Wedding gifts. Really? That’s what you’re going with?”

“Why not?” Darcy grinned impishly. “People love giving gifts to newlyweds! They’ll send them because they can’t make the wedding in person.”

Against her better judgement, Maria gave in. It really would be nice to have someone to care for her plants.

 

Later -

“What do you mean Stark RSVP’d?” Darcy wailed, staring at Maria in wide-eyed shock. “He wasn’t supposed to RSVP!”

"He says he’ll be honored to attend our wedding,” Maria said drily from her comfortable seat on the couch, watching her… well, fiance, gathering steam for an epic melt-down. She’d better head this one off at the pass. “You’re the one that wanted wedding gifts.”

Darcy took a deep breath to launch into just how wrong it would be for Stark to attend their fake wedding, when she realized… “Stark’s rich, right? I bet he’ll bring us a fantastic wedding gift. Maybe he’ll even pay for our honeymoon.” She sat down next to Maria, and bumped their shoulders together. “Maybe we can make this marriage thing work. Or at least, get through the wedding.”

Maria hid a fond smile that struggled to slip free. She really was growing quite fond of Darcy.

**Author's Note:**

> This is pretty much just a crack fic, and I hope you've enjoyed reading it!
> 
>  
> 
> Come say hi on Tumblr - you can find me at leavesdancing.tumblr.com


End file.
